“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Heb 11:1)
Faith-struggle
Sometimes words can seem to change meaning when you hear or say them often. In my life, 'faith' has been one of those words. Though I couldn't ignore the importance of faith in the Bible, the meaning was twisted so much that I even secretly started loathing it.
Instead of the incredible power it is, in my mind faith was reduced to a tool to measure whether I was good enough. Subconsciously I believed that any sign of doubt in my heart or my behavior meant that I fell short and God would be displeased with me. Faith was a goal to achieve, that wasn't reached until any shred of doubt was eradicated. To me, it was the minimum requirement for being 'a good Christian'. This idea was often confirmed in sermons and conversations with other Christians and left me feeling like a failing believer.
Personal relationship
What I needed was for God to teach me what true faith means. He taught me that true faith can't exist without a personal relationship with God. Since faith is another word for trust, it's the relationship that gives substance to what we believe. Blindly accepting something to be true doesn't create the assurance and confidence Hebrews 11 speaks about. If we want to trust someone's word, we need to trust the Person who said it.
Let's just say that a stranger sends you an email saying that he will give you 100 dollars if you send him your bank account number. Would you believe it? And better yet, would you trust it enough to send this information? But what if your best friend or a close relative says the same thing. Doesn't this change the situation completely? Though their words are the same, the first example probably makes you feel uncomfortable and delete the email, while the second makes you feel loved and write thank-you-email. Faith isn't in the words that were communicated, but in the relationship, it came from.
God doesn't demand faith as a starting qualification and He doesn't use it to measure how good we are and judge us accordingly.
Building faith
God isn't asking us to blindly believe everything we hear. Neither is He expecting us to be doubtless. His greatest desire is to have a personal relationship with us. This exchange of love and trust can only exist because He created us with the ability to reject and doubt. He isn't threatened with our ability to doubt, because He gave us that ability Himself.
To Him, faith and trust are an integral part of relationship. If we compare building a personal relationship with building a house, then faith and trust aren't the building requirements or regulations. He doesn't demand faith as a starting qualification and He doesn't use it to measure how good we are and judge us accordingly. Unfortunately, a lot of Christian communication seems to suggest that it is this. Most sermons about faith speak about proclamations, healing ministry or expanding our faith, rather than relationship.
In this comparison, our faith and trust are the bricks that together build our personal relationship with the Lord. Every time we choose to trust Him, we are adding another brick to our relationship. We're making our relationship stronger, higher, more safe and beautiful. The more bricks we've placed, the better bricklayers we become, the easier we can build the next time.
Faith comes from hearing His word
So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. (Romans 10:17)
The Bible clearly states that faith starts with hearing His word. If we have faith in something outside of what God told us, we're only fooling ourselves. We can try our hardest to convince ourselves that our faith is legitimate, but that doesn't make it so.
The Bible is the clearest word of God, but God can also speak through divine guidance or prophesy or other ways. Whatever the case, make sure to speak with God about what you believe He's saying. Test if this is in accordance with the Bible and if the message and timing are correct. However, we need to make sure to move on His word only, not our own wishes, habits or fears.
A while ago I literally wanted to move. There was a sex offender in our (small) apartment building. As a single woman, I felt unsafe, my home didn't feel like home anymore and I felt justified to move because several other neighbors did. I could have mustered up faith and acted on it. I could have convinced myself that it was God's will for me to be safe and therefore He would want me to move.
It would have sounded very spiritual, but in my heart, I knew I was using the Bible as an excuse to follow my fears rather than His word. So instead I asked Him what He wanted me to do and decided not to move until I could act on His word. God said “No”.
You can imagine I struggled with this outcome, so I spoke to Him about it. I told Him I don't feel safe and that there are very legitimate reasons for me to move out. His response was: “You are safe. I won't let anyone harm you”. Hearing Him say this, immediately made me feel safe in my home again. He might not have given me what I asked for, but He gave me what I needed in a much easier way. Moving out would have been super stressful and expensive, while all I needed was to feel safe.
Faith without works
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. (James 2:26)
Once we've heard Him speak to us, we need to decide to trust Him. Saying “I trust You” is an easy thing to do, but our trust is truly revealed in our behavior and actions.
Instead of simply saying that we trust Him, we actually hand Him the keys to part of our lives.
When I entrust the key to my house to someone, I'm not doing so by telling the person they can have my key. Entrusting it to someone means that I literally hand the key over to them. A year ago I asked my 12-year-old nephew to take care of my cat and plants while I was on vacation. When I gave him the key to my house, I also gave him an opportunity to show his talents and character. He did absolutely awesome and next time I will hand the key over with even more confidence because of this experience.
This is the spiral we need to create in our lives with God. Instead of simply saying that we trust Him, we actually hand Him the keys to part of our lives. As we're experiencing that He's trustworthy, it becomes easier to trust Him next time. But it does require us to be actively involved. We need to be ready to respond to His word by saying e.g. 'I will do this Your way', 'I'm ready to listen', 'I'm willing to face the wounds in my heart' or even 'I will stand back as You fight for me'.
If deciding to trust Him means that we get more bricks in our lives, then acting on it means we pick them up and start building. Loose bricks are useless, no matter how many you have. They only become useful when we pick them up and start building with them. In the same way, faith needs to be applied. As we're hearing His word and act accordingly, we're giving Him the opportunity to reveal Himself to us in a new way and building a closer relationship.
Not moving while I felt unsafe taught me that He's the source of my safety. Living on donations for a year taught me that He will provide. Crying in His presence taught me that He really is the Comforter. Speaking prophetic words to people taught me that He really does speak to me. Trusting Him through a crisis at work, taught me that He's ready to give me wisdom when I need it most. Now I know that when similar situations happen, I can trust Him to be there for me.
Trust in the face of doubt
“It's a new horizon and I'm set on You
And you meet me here today with mercies that are new
All my fears and doubts, they can all come too
Because they can't stay long when I'm here with You ”
(The Way, by Pat Barret)
If we read the rest of Hebrews 11 we see many acts of faith by Biblical men and women. We can clearly see the amazing power of faith, but when we look into the lives of these people a little more deeply, we will also clearly see they weren't without a doubt at all. One of the clearest examples is that of Sara, who is honored for her faith that God would give her a child despite her old age. When we look at the story up in Genesis we see though that she laughed in God's face when He first said this.
Gideon was so doubtful that He asked God for confirmation over and over again. So much so, that God at some point started giving Him confirmations even before Gideon asked. And as much as we idolize the miracle of the burning bush, we need to realize that Moses had a serious discussion with the Lord about his abilities right there. While the miracle was happening He was filled with fear and doubts and had a severe struggle to accept God's plan for His life. These are just a few examples of people whom God honored for their faith, despite their doubts and fear. The biggest key is that we see that these people took their fears and doubts to God. They spoke about it with Him, struggled through it and eventually came to a place of trust and surrender.
Let's start looking at who we know God to be, and add to these experiences by giving Him opportunities to prove His faithfulness.
Jesus knew there was no other way than to die on the cross. He had prophesied it several times to His disciples, yet when He was in the garden of Gethsemane He still asked God if there was any other way. Having fears and doubts doesn't mean we're living in sin. It means we have a choice to make. We can choose to give in to them and let them determine our future, or we act like Jesus did: Go to God. Express our fears or doubts and struggle with them as long as we need, to eventually find the faith to surrender to His will.
True faith
So let's start building faith, rather than forcing ourselves to muster it up from no-where. Let's start looking at who we know God to be, and add to these experiences by giving Him opportunities to prove His faithfulness.
As we're doing so we're building the most beautiful thing in the world: a deeply personal relationship that is becoming more valuable and beautiful the longer we're in this process. We start by building a shed-relationship, but can ever expand it to a shack, townhouse, bungalow, villa and even a castle or palace.
Father, I'm so thankful that you're teaching me to live in true faith. Thank you that you don't require me to muster up faith, but that it will grow as we're building our relationship.
I want to build an even more deeply personal relationship with you. I recognize this means I have to give You opportunities to prove your love and faithfulness. And I recognize this will probably require me to get uncomfortable. I want to let you know that I'm willing to do this, but I also want you do know that I can't do this without You. Please help, guide and protect me through it. Please provide opportunities for me to hand You the keys to parts of my life.
Thank you for honoring my faith, for respecting every little step I take even if it's no more than baby steps. You are amazing and I love you.
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